This, is a Test.

I wrote this blog soon after we first arrived. Thought I'd take the time to 'flush' it out a bit and share with you.

For my job I had to take a drug analysis test. I work for the city at the Office of Emergency Managment. I don't have a problem with drug testing. I don't want druggies working for me!

I went to the lab first thing in the morning. It had to be fasting. Being new to Colorado I was drinking lots of water, acclimating myself to the dry climate, and helping my body recover from jet lag. As I waited for what I thought would be a quick process I ended up drinking a whole large bottle of water. Needless to say, when I was finally called I was about to explode.

Now I've taken a drug test before, but this one had unusual elements to it. First, I entered the bathroom, and locked my purse in a filing cabinet. Yes, a filing cabinet in the bathroom. I don't think I will add that decorating tip to my new home.

Then I had to wash my hands. Before the deed. Okay. A little strange, but hey I have nothing against cleanliness, so Okay.


I was given my cup. Did the deed. I couldn't flush. The toilet had no flush capability. Okay. This is NOT what I taught my kids. "Wash and flush, wash and flush" was my mantra, but these people have it all mixed up!

After completion I gave the cup to the nurse. She checked the temp. Yep. The temp!


Then she removed the label. Usually you would think they would apply a label, but this cup was special and had a special label on it so you could see automatically what color the stripes on it turned. Kinda like a pregnancy test, but the label was on the outside, and the wet stuff on the inside. Maybe the pregnancy test people should get this technology, then there's no aiming, wiping or swiping involved!

Okay, I was done. I was relieved, I was deflated. I was ready to go. Nope, not allowed. I had to stand in the outer room and wait for my results. Couldn't leave before. Good thing it was a quick test! Imagine being the tester. Perfecting your skills of chit-chat whilst waiting to see what color a stripe turned in someone's urine. How do you label that in your application for job skills?

I passed. Of course. Funny thing though. In Kuala Lumpur I had a Top Secret clearance. I NEVER had to do a drug test! Hmmm, maybe we should inflict this on more government workers...

Sorry no pictures on this one. Hope you will understand, I was a bit preoccupied. :)